my heart is an open palm, exposed and raw
In my land of bright lights you are effervescent -
Overwhelming at once, I am oblivious the next.
You are the palpable product of words I never meant,
Of clouded judgement, infinite dreams; my sweet Regret.
My conscience weighs you down and embeds you
Somewhere in the murky depths of this sepulchral soul.
Yet there is little want of redemption for what I do,
And you and your kind maketh the stories I never told.
Even now I would sing that I am yours, Yours!
As I believe you are mine in all your tainted forms.
Sucker as I am for your taste, touch and allure,
The beauty of folly is not weeping when all else mourns.
So this is an ode to my ill-fated penchant for
Secrets I have to keep, and everything that
I loved to hold but not to possess.
That I wish to forget, but forget to regret.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
you know after much pondering, i conclude that what i would like to have in life is really very simple- happiness. as cliched as it sounds, i really feel like i can live on happiness. as in a '24/7 high' on euphoria. okay maybe not that exaggerated. happiness from the simple things in life. like the way someone can get you all chummy inside, unlike any other. or how mommy makes the best pies in the world and how lucky you are to have her as your very own. basically, the high life's just too tedious to maintain, and being simple and neat is so much more sensible. i'm trying to cut down on the materialism and focus on what matters. sure it's great having prada, balenciaga and what not but still one can't live on it eh. i've come to appreciate and value the warmness and reliability a loving family can provide :) so yup my life's goal should be on how to build up a happy family. it's not as simple as i make it sound really. building a happy family entails financial stability, a roof over your head and well, decent clothes? as retarded as i (think i) sound, it makes perfect sense to me. but that really isn't my point. the question is: when all's taken away, what then is the sustaining element? i honestly have no inkling but as far as my almost-mature-seventeen-year-old-cranium can tell me, it probably is learning how to be grateful for whatever you have no matter how mediocre it may seem. most of all, i think the crucial thing is to be grateful for the ones who love you :)
ha ha there, i don't know i jes felt like writing that. that's kinda out-of-character huh? pardon the simplistic language i really am bummed out. this is blogging after all. who needs grandiloquence.
written with ♥ at
7:52 AM;
